So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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