The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
