i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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