4 words: hood of his car
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
