apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
