I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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