Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
