There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
