It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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