I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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