I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
