it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
