dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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