so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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