i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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