So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
