im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
