I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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