I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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