What a fucking waste of an outfit
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
