I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
