my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
