the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
