I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
