And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
