Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
