You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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