I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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