didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
