I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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