The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I smell like Dick and happiness
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
