I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
