sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Of course I have a pirate flag
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
