dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
