I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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