I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
