Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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