Is it normal to miss your booty call?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
