I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
