There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
