So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
