I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
