I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
