i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
