i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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