I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
