You're completely useless in the revolution.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
