i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just want to make out with him forever
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
