Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
