2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
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