we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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