in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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