Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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