3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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