Where did you get a picture of my penis
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
