And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
