NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Michael Bay diarrhea
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We have started to decorate penises.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
