i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
