u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
