What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
