Whod you bang
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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