i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
